I am having an identity crisis, and I have the mall to thank for it. I went shopping for some new clothes recently at a large department store, name withheld. I look at the store directory to try to figure out where to go. I see the "women's" department. Yep, that's me I'm thinking. I head over there, and after checking the sizes, I see that I am mistaken. I am not a woman, which makes me feel bad to admit to myself.
Back to the directory. I see "Misses". Oh, okay, I'm married, so duh, that does make more sense. I take off in search for the perfect outfit. I'm thumbing through the racks, hmmm, polyester pants, sweater sets, embroidered t-shirts. Wait a minute! I'm not a grandmother! So even though I am technically "Mrs. Denney", clotheswise, I am no "miss".
Fast foward to me standing in front of the directory again, scratching my head. I see a "Petite" department. Well, I am 5'3", so maybe that's where I'll find my new clothes. I look around the department and do not see anything. Something on the floor caught my eye and I looked down and lo and behold, there were the clothes rack. I got down on my knees and started looking at the selection. After finding a pair of jeans, I go to the fitting room and try them on. Why do they look like shorts on me? Maybe I'm not petite, I decide.
Directory, here I come again. The last option is the "Juniors" department. Juniors? Aren't they kids? I don't want to shop in the kids department! I am a woman! Or at least I thought I was before I arrived at the mall. I guess I'll try it, what do I have to lose? As I'm looking through the clothes, I see a size I didn't think was possible, 00. Are you kidding me here? I pull the pants off the rack and see that the only way to fit into them is to have the bottom half of my body removed and replaced with a set of chopsticks. Depression sets in, I decide to leave. Who needs clothes when there are more important things in life, like trying to figure out exactly what I am?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Find Out What It Means To Me
When my oldest daughter was born 12 years ago, I received the most important piece of advice I had ever been given. It was given to me by my aunt, Jerri Ann. She told me that the key to a happy family was to respect my mate, respect my child, and respect myself. Being 20 years old at the time, I had no idea what she was talking about, but it struck me so deep that I mentally filed it away until I could understand what it meant.
It didn't take me very long to realize what she meant, and I have tried to live by those rules. I respect Mark, not only as the head of our household (so he thinks), but also as my husband and best friend. I respect my children, I try very hard to realize that they are actually really little people with feelings and thoughts of their own. I also respect myself. It works out because by following my lead, we all respect each other. Now that's not to say that I don't have a few smart ass kids, but they are still great.
If I could talk to every parent out there, I would ask them to please use that same rule of thumb with their kids. Alas, this isn't true though. Case in point, I took my kids to the park the other day and there was a gang of teenagers loitering around. I could not believe the language coming out of their mouths! Now, I am not a prude, if you know me for more than a minute, you realize that I drop the "f" bomb more than most sailors, but I try to be respectful with it. I won't say it in certain company, but I do say it, alot.
After listening to the colorful language for a few minutes, I realized I had a choice to make. Before I even thought about it, I made that choice. I jumped up and in my meanest tone of voice I could muster, I told them to watch their mouths in front of my kids. Now by nature, I am a very laid back person, totally not into confrontation, but I just couldn't allow the disrespect to go on anymore. After I had my say, I was scared to death. What if they wanted to fight? What if they scratched the f word into my car? But none of that happened, they scattered. I was greatful.
I am not a perfect mom by any means. I raise my voice on the average of once every 17 minutes. I get exasperated. I lose my patience. But I try to maintain that line of respect. I just wish other people would teach their kids the same thing, I think the world would be a lot better place to live.
It didn't take me very long to realize what she meant, and I have tried to live by those rules. I respect Mark, not only as the head of our household (so he thinks), but also as my husband and best friend. I respect my children, I try very hard to realize that they are actually really little people with feelings and thoughts of their own. I also respect myself. It works out because by following my lead, we all respect each other. Now that's not to say that I don't have a few smart ass kids, but they are still great.
If I could talk to every parent out there, I would ask them to please use that same rule of thumb with their kids. Alas, this isn't true though. Case in point, I took my kids to the park the other day and there was a gang of teenagers loitering around. I could not believe the language coming out of their mouths! Now, I am not a prude, if you know me for more than a minute, you realize that I drop the "f" bomb more than most sailors, but I try to be respectful with it. I won't say it in certain company, but I do say it, alot.
After listening to the colorful language for a few minutes, I realized I had a choice to make. Before I even thought about it, I made that choice. I jumped up and in my meanest tone of voice I could muster, I told them to watch their mouths in front of my kids. Now by nature, I am a very laid back person, totally not into confrontation, but I just couldn't allow the disrespect to go on anymore. After I had my say, I was scared to death. What if they wanted to fight? What if they scratched the f word into my car? But none of that happened, they scattered. I was greatful.
I am not a perfect mom by any means. I raise my voice on the average of once every 17 minutes. I get exasperated. I lose my patience. But I try to maintain that line of respect. I just wish other people would teach their kids the same thing, I think the world would be a lot better place to live.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Single Women Are So Lucky
Single women are so lucky. Actually single women without children are lucky. Some of the things they enjoy are:
1. Dancing with a dark haired stranger until the sun rises.
2. Sleep until noon if they are so inclined.
3. Spend $200 on a new purse that catches their eye.
4. Lie on their backs and stare at the stars, pondering the meaning of their existence.
5. Go to bed at nite on silk sheets and a bed full of pillows, knowing they can sprawl all over them to their heart's delight.
6. Wake up in the morning, knowing that they have an important job they go to, one that provides them a life of comfort, and security.
7. Have lunch dates with "the girls" where they discuss their latest dating adventure, or misadventure.
8. Flirt with a handsome stranger.
9. Cook an elegant dinner that would be appreciated by someone with only the most refined palate.
10. Live their dream, whatever that might be...write a novel, record a song, paint a picture.
Making this list reminded me of how dull and unimportant my life now seems. Humor me while I make a comparison, please?
1. Dancing with a dark haired stranger? Not likely, the most dancing I get is in the kitchen with the kids. They are kind of impressed by my moves.
2. Sleeping in? Those days are long gone for me, instead all I have to look forward to in the morning is kisses goodbye from my family when they leave for school and work.
3. Spend 200 bucks on a purse? Why would I do that when I could divvy it up 3 ways and get each of them that new toy they've had their eye on, but wouldn't dream of expecting?
4. Lying on my back to ponder the stars? Who has time to ponder when I'm explaining them to Olivia, who now never fails to remind me how the sun goes "nite nite" so the stars can come out.
5. Sprawling on silk sheets and pillows? I'm kind of used to having "my" side of the bed, with Mark holding me tightly, warding off bad dreams.
6. Having an important and fulfilling job? Yeah, if you count raising 3 kids important and fulfilling then, okay. I do have a husband who leaves this house for work every morning, and never fails to meet any of my needs.
7. Having lunch dates? For me, it's play dates. Meeting other moms in the park who understand why it's okay to feed your kid cheese for dinner every nite of the week.
8. Flirting with a stranger? Not likely for me. But for some reason, something about Mark still makes me look in his blue eyes and feel all tingly, even after 15 years.
9. Cooking an elegant meal? Psh, the only meal we agree on is when we have "taco nite". Dinner time isn't a quiet affair, it's when we sit around the table, everyone clammoring for their turn to share how their day went.
10. Living the dream? Who? Me? I'm so busy chasing a toddler, chauffering kids, playing referee, kissing boo-boos, finding vases to put the flowers they sneak out to pick for me, receiving hugs and kisses, who has time to live a dream??Oh, wait...this is my dream...to be a wife and a mommy...maybe I'm the lucky one..the one the single gals with no kids envy.
1. Dancing with a dark haired stranger until the sun rises.
2. Sleep until noon if they are so inclined.
3. Spend $200 on a new purse that catches their eye.
4. Lie on their backs and stare at the stars, pondering the meaning of their existence.
5. Go to bed at nite on silk sheets and a bed full of pillows, knowing they can sprawl all over them to their heart's delight.
6. Wake up in the morning, knowing that they have an important job they go to, one that provides them a life of comfort, and security.
7. Have lunch dates with "the girls" where they discuss their latest dating adventure, or misadventure.
8. Flirt with a handsome stranger.
9. Cook an elegant dinner that would be appreciated by someone with only the most refined palate.
10. Live their dream, whatever that might be...write a novel, record a song, paint a picture.
Making this list reminded me of how dull and unimportant my life now seems. Humor me while I make a comparison, please?
1. Dancing with a dark haired stranger? Not likely, the most dancing I get is in the kitchen with the kids. They are kind of impressed by my moves.
2. Sleeping in? Those days are long gone for me, instead all I have to look forward to in the morning is kisses goodbye from my family when they leave for school and work.
3. Spend 200 bucks on a purse? Why would I do that when I could divvy it up 3 ways and get each of them that new toy they've had their eye on, but wouldn't dream of expecting?
4. Lying on my back to ponder the stars? Who has time to ponder when I'm explaining them to Olivia, who now never fails to remind me how the sun goes "nite nite" so the stars can come out.
5. Sprawling on silk sheets and pillows? I'm kind of used to having "my" side of the bed, with Mark holding me tightly, warding off bad dreams.
6. Having an important and fulfilling job? Yeah, if you count raising 3 kids important and fulfilling then, okay. I do have a husband who leaves this house for work every morning, and never fails to meet any of my needs.
7. Having lunch dates? For me, it's play dates. Meeting other moms in the park who understand why it's okay to feed your kid cheese for dinner every nite of the week.
8. Flirting with a stranger? Not likely for me. But for some reason, something about Mark still makes me look in his blue eyes and feel all tingly, even after 15 years.
9. Cooking an elegant meal? Psh, the only meal we agree on is when we have "taco nite". Dinner time isn't a quiet affair, it's when we sit around the table, everyone clammoring for their turn to share how their day went.
10. Living the dream? Who? Me? I'm so busy chasing a toddler, chauffering kids, playing referee, kissing boo-boos, finding vases to put the flowers they sneak out to pick for me, receiving hugs and kisses, who has time to live a dream??Oh, wait...this is my dream...to be a wife and a mommy...maybe I'm the lucky one..the one the single gals with no kids envy.
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