Tonite I received a gift whose worth cannot be measured in gold or diamonds. My fellow wives and mothers, you can surely appreciate this. This evening I took a shower that was not interupted. Nothing, not even a knock on the door. It was heavenly. It was also the first time it's ever happened.
My usual shower routine starts off with me announcing through the house that I plan on showering in 5 minutes, if you have to use the bathroom, go now! I always am answered by, "I just went", or "I don't have to go right now". I wait until 1 minute before I'm ready and yell loudly that I will be stepping in the shower in exactly 60 seconds. Again I am assured that everyone's bladder is taken care of. I then proceed to get in the shower. The water is hot and relaxing. I'll then wet my hair, and scrub in the shampoo. For some reason, I've never been able to use the recommended dime size amount, I use way too much. So here I am with a headful of suds when I hear a metallic clinking sound. It's the kid (the one who had assured me they had just went to the bathroom) picking the lock with a butter knife. Now when I'm looking for a butter knife, they are nowhere to be found, but let a door be locked, and they crawl out of the woodwork. Child enters, uses bathroom and flushes a nano second before I scream out, "Don't Flush!!!". I'm left cowering in the corner of the shower, dodging the ice cold water with shampoo running down into my eyes.
The other usual scenario is for them to wait until I am warm and relaxed. Steam building up, swirling around the bathroom, so thick you can't even see through it. That's when I hear the lock being picked. I poke my head out from behind the shower curtain and watch my steam make a hasty escape through the open door, leaving me to freeze when I get out. Child will smile at me and then ask how to defeat the castle on the 4th world of Super Mario Brothers. The nerve of these people!
Tonite while I was in the shower, noone came in to use the bathroom, no castles needed defeating. My steam built up. I started to get nervous. I began to feel like Janet Leigh waiting on Norman Bates. I thought surely, just surely, something is fixing to happen here. Alas, nothing happened. I was able to enjoy a nice steamy bathroom as I slowly dried off, taking in this whole alien experience. I came out feeling like a million bucks. The job I have does not a paycheck attached to it, but the gift of being able to enjoy a simple shower is more than payment enough today.
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