For some strange reason, I am the chief waker-upper in my house. Since that's a word I just made up, I'll explain. I am the one who has to wake up first, and then wake up everyone else up for work or school. I still don't understand why this is because I am the world's most horrible morning person. I do not wake up cheerful, excited about the opportunities the new day will bring. I wake up angry and resentful. I love to sleep, it's my hobby.
I can remember as a child, and especially as a teen fighting with my mom in the morning. I can't tell you the times she has threatened me bodily harm if I did not get out of bed and calm down. Even in the early days of my marriage I was like that. Until finally Mark told me that things just weren't going to work out for us because I was his dream girl during the day, but his nightmare in the morning. So I finally learned out to wake up and bottle all my rage and anger inside and slowly let it out over some coffee.
It's worked out great, but I still don't understand why I have to be the first up.Since I still have a hard time waking, I have actually got my alarm clock set in such a way so that it confuses me enough that I have to wake up to figure out what time it is. It's sad, but it's the only way I can get up in the morning. Here's my formula. We have to be up at 6:45. My clock is set 11 minutes fast. I set it to go off at 6:13 and hit the snooze twice. My snooze is set to go off at 9 minute intervals. So by the second time it goes off, I'm scratching my head wondering what time it actually is, and ta-da, I'm awake. Hush, it works for me!
But here lies the problem. By me being the chief waker-upper and the keeper of the time, I also get to decide if I want to hit the snooze a third or fourth time. I've gotten it down to an art. After I feel like I've had enough sleep, I'll jump up and exclaim that the alarm clock didn't go off. I then proceed to dash around getting everyone ready and swear that I will buy a new alarm clock. I know from experience that I can get away with that about once a year. Any more than that and everyone in the house gets suspicious. So I try to save my "extra snooze card" for a real emergency. I hate to do it, but sometimes I have to.
Like this morning. I had to use my extra snooze card. I went to bed at 11:00 because Mark worked late, and I can't sleep without him in the house. So I go to bed at 11:00. At 11:45 Olivia wakes up and is thirsty. I get her some milk. At midnight, she decides she wants to get on the couch on watch cartoons. Okay, fine, just let me sleep. 15 minutes later, she screams that she can't hear the TV. I jump up, turn the tv up a little bit. 20 minutes later, she climbs into bed with us, with her (still full) sippy cup of milk. Why did she even ask for it?? She refuses to put the milk down, so I tell her "fine, just don't spill it". 15 minutes later she then proceeds to spill it all over my side of the bed and all over me. We get cleaned up, and finally fall back asleep. An hour later, the cat decides he wants to come in and bangs on the door. I get up, go to the door like a woman possessed and chase the cat away with a broom. I think I finally got to sleep around 4 this morning. So when the alarm went off at 6:13, I quietly reached over and hit "off" instead of "snooze". Noone was the wiser. Except that we didn't wake up until 9! Now I feel like my children's education is very important, and that their being tardy is not a good thing at all. But you tell me, wouldn't it be better for their mommy to be well rested and calmly get up, or for them to be confronted by the psycho-mommy who chases cats around with brooms? I'll take the first choice, and pass me some more coffee, please.
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