An Uninvited House Guest

"Summertime and the livin's easy", goes the old song by Billie Holiday. Summertime invokes memories of past vacations like pictures running through my mind. Lying on the beach, lying in a pool, lying in a chair getting some rays.

Alas, that is not how summertime is. Summertime is about mosquitoes, sweat, and extra laundry. But this year, I have sometime extra for Summer, an uninvited house guest. I have a mouse!

Listen, I understand it's hot outside, and I'm blasting the air conditioner, but that does NOT give you the right to just presume you can come in and camp out here. I wouldn't allow a strange person to come in my house and dig through my food, and I damn sure am not allowing a rodent to do it either!

I hate hate hate mice! Not just because they're filthy. Not just because they disrespect my house by pooping everywhere. I hate them because they scare me. I mean they terrify me. My husband swears that noone has ever been attacked by a mouse, but I don't trust him.

Believe it or not, in my 15 years of having my own household, this is only my second mouse invasion. The first one was about 5 years ago. This little mouse decided to live in my bathroom, of all places. I just knew he was going to eat my feet. Ladies, have you ever tried to pee with both legs in the air? It's possible, but not comfortable. Every time I would see him, (I assume it was a him, who knows?) I would SCREAM and hover. Don't ask how, but I would leap in the air so fast, I would manage to stay there a few seconds. I think I scared the mouse more than he scared me, and he left. No traps or anything, he just left. I think he warned his mice buddies about me, because I had no more problems.

Now that we've moved, these new mice don't know me just yet. I saw one, pulled the scream and hover manuever, he didn't leave. We resorted to a trap. We caught him. But not before he set up a facebook event announcing a party at my house.

I have spent the entire day cleaning EVERYTHING. I have thrown away any groceries not in a can. I've bleached every surface of my house. I went and bought mouse traps. I plan on setting them every six inches through out the house. You might be smart, little mouse, but my friend, my fear is stronger than your moxie.