Through the Darkness, I Saw the Light

I've always had romantic notions about living back in the pioneer days. That could just be because I had a big crush on Michael Landon in "Little House on the Prairie". But to me it's always seemed ideal to have my family sit around a table lit by a coal oil lamp. Listening to my gorgeous, dark, curly headed husband play fiddle while my children clapped and sang, and asked for just one more slice of homemade apple pie.

For years I've thought technology has gone so far, almost too far, so fast. When I was a kid, if you would've told me I would have a telephone that I could carry in my pocket and use anywhere, I would've laughed at you and told you to be quiet so I could listen to my new cassette of Bon Jovi. My point is, I've often thought it would be nice if technology took a break for a little while and let life settle down to how it was in the old fashioned days.

That was until 5:04 pm today. I noticed storm clouds moving in, so I made sure to catch the 5 o'clock news. They said storms were moving into my area ------------Then my world went dark. The electricity had gone out. My first thought was, "I wonder if anyone has commented on my status on facebook?". My next thought was, "Damn, I just planted some clover on Frontierville, it's a 5 minute crop, I hope it doesn't spoil."

My kids came out of their bedrooms with confused looks on their faces. Where did the cartoons go? I calmly told them that the power had gone out, and we were going to spend some good old fashioned quality time together. While I was saying that, in the back of my mind I was thinking, "is this going to mess with my DVR? I CANNOT miss Inside Edition".

After an eternity (actually only 7 minutes) the kids started freaking out, wondering if the ice cream was going to melt, so they were opening the freezer every 30 seconds checking on it. I tried to calmly explain that we had to keep the door closed in order to keep the freezer cool.

Around the 11 minute mark, I started to think, "hmmm, this would be a great moment to write". As I wiped the sweat from my brow, I dug around until I found a tablet and pen. Two minutes in, my hand was cramped up from writing longhand. I glanced hungrily at the computer keyboard, thinking I would sell my soul if the power would just come back on.

Exactly 42 minutes after the power went off, my computer monitor beeped. It was like a gift from the Gods. I leaped at it, wiping the tears from my eyes. I had to finally admit to myself, I am no Caroline Ingalls, and although I am married to a great man, he's not exactly Charles Ingalls himself.

An Uninvited House Guest

"Summertime and the livin's easy", goes the old song by Billie Holiday. Summertime invokes memories of past vacations like pictures running through my mind. Lying on the beach, lying in a pool, lying in a chair getting some rays.

Alas, that is not how summertime is. Summertime is about mosquitoes, sweat, and extra laundry. But this year, I have sometime extra for Summer, an uninvited house guest. I have a mouse!

Listen, I understand it's hot outside, and I'm blasting the air conditioner, but that does NOT give you the right to just presume you can come in and camp out here. I wouldn't allow a strange person to come in my house and dig through my food, and I damn sure am not allowing a rodent to do it either!

I hate hate hate mice! Not just because they're filthy. Not just because they disrespect my house by pooping everywhere. I hate them because they scare me. I mean they terrify me. My husband swears that noone has ever been attacked by a mouse, but I don't trust him.

Believe it or not, in my 15 years of having my own household, this is only my second mouse invasion. The first one was about 5 years ago. This little mouse decided to live in my bathroom, of all places. I just knew he was going to eat my feet. Ladies, have you ever tried to pee with both legs in the air? It's possible, but not comfortable. Every time I would see him, (I assume it was a him, who knows?) I would SCREAM and hover. Don't ask how, but I would leap in the air so fast, I would manage to stay there a few seconds. I think I scared the mouse more than he scared me, and he left. No traps or anything, he just left. I think he warned his mice buddies about me, because I had no more problems.

Now that we've moved, these new mice don't know me just yet. I saw one, pulled the scream and hover manuever, he didn't leave. We resorted to a trap. We caught him. But not before he set up a facebook event announcing a party at my house.

I have spent the entire day cleaning EVERYTHING. I have thrown away any groceries not in a can. I've bleached every surface of my house. I went and bought mouse traps. I plan on setting them every six inches through out the house. You might be smart, little mouse, but my friend, my fear is stronger than your moxie.